Happy Zombie Jesus Day!
"... And very
early in the morning on the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulcher
at the rising of the sun And they said among themselves, "Who shall roll
us away the stone from the door of the sepulcher?
And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away, for it was very
large
And entering into the sepulcher, they saw a pale, corpulent man sitting on the
right side, clothed in a long white garment spattered with blood stains; and
they were frightened, for they had seen Dawn of the Dead at a party once.
And he said unto them, in a frightened, halting tone, "Be not afraid. Ye
seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has come back! He is not here, he ... is somewhere else, I guess.
Go unto Peter I say to you, and take up thine axes and shotguns and baseball
bats and flamethrowers and high-powered rifles and revolvers and kitchen knives
and golf clubs and soccer balls and novelty katanas and Mega Man blasters. Go and stop this menace, for the
gates of hell are closed and those once dead doth work the Earth again!"
And they went out quickly and fled from the sepulcher, for they trembled and
were amazed; neither said they any thing to any man, for they were
afraid."
-- Mark 16: 1-8 (21st Century King George Romero Version)